My friends all know that I had a baby last winter.
And for the longest time, my son's father and I have been on bad terms.
But this past weekend, my mom desired to visit our family in TX. This is where my son's father and his family lives. I didn't tell him I was going to be in the area, but my son's grandmother called and I mentioned it to her. She asked if I would please allow her to see the baby. No problem, right? She is Grandma after all. Not that we even talked about her son more than her saying she hadn't seen him in a while and he hasn't called. I assumed I would be able to make my visit with her and it would be all good. Ever hear of Murphy's Law? If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. LOL... not that everything went wrong, its just that as soon as my son and I are settled in and really having a good visit... he comes walking in the door. She, my son's grandmother, starts smiling really big. At that moment I knew I'd been set up. *sigh*
My son is looking around, and spots his dad. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY did this child, who really does not take to strange men, reach out to this man with outstretched arms? I was thinking... this kid doesn't even KNOW this man... and he is smiling and doing the little thing he does when I pick him up from daycare... like he is excited to see him. Something inside me was crushed. I kinda wanted him to feel the sting of his youngest son's rejection. But something within my son, who is less than one year old, knew this man was family. I couldnt deny what I saw... and what I felt in that room. This kid had a sense of where he had come from. I am amazed at the perceptive skills of this little one.
All in all, we had a good visit. Dad and I were cordial, the baby was blissful, sitting in the arms of grandparents he'd never known until that day, and then, pulling the beard of his father. We looked like family. In a sense, we are.
7 comments:
Children really can suprise us sometimes..its good that he met his dad and grandma.. so let the healing begin.
unfortunate for us adults we can't always put our feelings on our children, they are all crazy and will do what they want to do. Me of all people understand what you went thru. Just glad that you didn't have to pull your knife out to cut anybody.
don't feel bad, my dad has appeared sporadically in my life for over 30 years, and I still react just like your son did -I reach for him without question. He's not perfect, he never will be. None of us will ever be. But he's my dad.
resonantfox... thank you for your perspective on this... I've been looking at this situation from my own view... not considering the needs or feelings of the others involved... thanks for opening my eyes...
Now how could you think Tre couldnt or wouldnt connect with him poppa? Despite what has transpired that is a beautiful thing. Now poppa should be all up in his life now that he has experienced his son in the flesh. If not, give me some utensil to cut open his chest and examine his heart.
LOL @ Kim
I'm just hoping and praying like everyone else that now that dad has had a taste of fatherhood (and his grandparents a taste of grandparenthood) that their sense of family will really kick in. I know it was painful for you....but it was good for your son. :)
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