I guess I will start with accepting my part in this whole fiasco. I… lover of the underdog… always willing to see potential… always wanting to help a brother come up in life… took more than was my share… and I trained you how to discredit and disrespect me… because I let it happen one time too many…
But you… you aren’t a kid anymore… and you shouldn’t NEED a good woman ( like me) to always hold your hand and show you how its done anymore…
What? How what’s done? Love, you fool!
I loved you with everything I had and some I didn’t … I took from the love of others important to me and GAVE it to you… and what did I get in return? Nothing worth getting…I can see why otherwise sane women lose it… become that psycho b*tch men always talking about… not me… not anymore…
I had let the love I had for you cause me to lose me… but guess what? I’m BACK… bigger and better… stronger and wiser… believe that!
At this point I think it makes sense to just give it all up… just stop loving you… and before you say anything about me being a Christian and about how I am SPOSED to love everybody… let me hit you with this….
Even God gave up on some folks… if you can find your bible…knock the dust off it and turn to the book of Romans… the very first chapter… should be easy to find…
God decided that there were some folks who He loved who just wouldn’t let Him love them to life… they refused to treasure the gifts God gave them… refused to honor the love God had for them…refused to be conformed to the image of love that He is… so he gave them up… and let them do whatever the natural hell and the spiritual hell they wanted to do…
This is me and you… whatever it is in hell (or a hoochie) you want… you can have it… you are now free to roam the nether regions of the underworld and whatever you get … you get… and guess what? Things won’t change… you’ll wind up alone… again…why? Cuz you just freaking don’t get it! You had the love of a bonafide grade A woman in your life… and you just didn’t get it!
Oh… and just like God… I can forgive… if… and that is a gargantuan IF… you repent (change your ways) but I ain’t holding my breath… cuz it’s the lives of me and mine that are most important to me…
Oh… I will still be me… because it isn’t in me to be nasty, mean vindictive, hateful, bitchy, and all those wonderful things you presently think about me… well let say that I am not that way unprovoked… God is still working on me… but at least I am a work IN PROGRESS… and there is something being shown in my TRYING…
But I just wanted to let you know… you aint gotta worry bout me… bout us… bout a thang… I got this… and its right on schedule… don’t get mad cuz you hear how well we are doing… don’t get mad cuz you get info second hand… don’t get mad… cuz you could have been priority… but since you treated me as an option… you got moved to the bottom of the totem pole… if not off… and please don’t get mad cuz you got left behind…and even if you do… who cares but you… cuz it’s not my problem anymore…
This experience has only made me a stronger woman... a phenomenal woman... and just like the phoenix rises out of the ashes... I arise!
Signed…Not Yo Holla Back Girl
5 comments:
and because I know he wont come to this site and read it... maybe he will... *shrug*... I sent it to his personal inbox... but all this he knows anyway... now he knows the whole of the internet knows... lol... love u much girlie.... forgive the strong language... hadda say it how I felt it... pray for me...
WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
I feel you strong, Dee! Congratulations on taking your life back from him.
I think that this should be forwarded on to many many and did I say many others!!!
Nora... sis... feel free to forward it to as many foolish men you want to... lol
Now nigga now!!! (thats my cheer) And the sad thing is,if he don't get it after reading this then you wonder if he ever will.
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