Today I am feeling this song....

Slowly surely, I walk away from
that old desperate and dazed love
caught up in the maze of love
the crazy craze of love
thought it was good
thought it was real
thought it was but it wasn't love
I just don't know
Where i should go

So Slowly surely I walk away from
self-serving undeserving
constantly hurting me love
deserting me love
you said, I said, we said but
Slowly surely I walk away from
confusing love misusing love abusing love
this can't be

Slowly surely I walk away from
self serving undeserving
constantly hurting me love
I just don't know where I should go
No I just don't know know, know, know
Where I should go so

Slowly surely I walk away from
that old desperate and dazed love
caught up in the maze of love
the crazy craze of love
thought it was good
thought it was real
thought it was but it wasn't love
I just don't know where to go

So Slowly surely I walk away from
I walk away from
Slowly surely I walk away from love
Oh slowlyy, surely one step at a time but
surely I will pass the old love aside and love me
slowly, surely I walk away from
slowly surely I walk away from desperate love
caught up in the maze love
crazy crazy craze of love
slowly surely, I walk away from....
Slooooooowly.....
Suuuuuuurely....

I know... I am always posting a song and analyzing its lyrics...
I am a music lover... and music truly timestamps my life...

I remember when I FULLY understood this song for more than the laid back beat... I remember how hard it was to actually turn my back on a very toxic relationship. I contemplated murder... I lied and schemed and pretended I was happy towards the end of this chaotic situation... there were so many lies between us... he says he didnt have the strength to hurt me by walking out of my life... while hurting me by lying and cheating on me...*shrug* No I didnt and still dont understand THAT logic... but...
The day came when I began to disconnect from him... little by little I stopped the arguments... I stopped asking questions... I stopped caring... and when he had the nerve to tell me that he was breaking up with me because I didnt seem interested in him and the relationship anymore... I just looked at him and laughed...

I said ... "Ok... I wish you love... a love that rocks your very soul... "
He stands there looking like I had just cussed him out for nothing... not knowing what to say...
"Uh... yeah... " then he says..."Baby, what went wrong with us?"
Now you know that at THAT moment I could have just went on a tirade and pulled out my laundry list of needs unmet and let him have it...but me being me... I couldnt do it... why? cuz I didnt care...
I proceeded to just turn around... and walk away from him and this situation...
I walked away...
And I know I am much better woman for it.